Thursday, March 10, 2011

I miss my bunny

I remember the old days when I had a nightstand next to my bed full of fun toys. My long lost friend the spinning pearl rabbit, the bright assortment of cock rings, tingly lubes, and various buzzy things. Its not like I am now an old maid prude or anything, but having kids running around kinda kills the allure of owning spicy toys.

The moment that really convinced me to say adios to my toys was when Ava was two years old and walked out of our room chewing on a bright pink stubbly cock-ring. I first freaked out and then bust out laughing. I immediately wrestled her new found treasure out of her mouth and threw it in the trash. This spured me to clean out the closet so to speak. I have no secret place left in this house to hide things from my kids.  I said goodbye to my faithful playthings and ever since it has been me and my five fingered friend.  I guess you could say I am now going old school without all the bells and whistles.

Its not a big deal but every now and then after a few drinks I find myself pining over my long lost toys... I dont need them, I am fine with out them, but to be honest there are days when I miss them.  I dedicate this blog to my special rotating purple bunny, how I miss you.


  1. I do believe that every woman who loves her toys needs her very own lock-box. If my kids EVER figure out where the key is or how to pop the lock they will possibly die of shock anyway. (Not that the hubby and I have time to even use the contents of said box, what with 5 kids running around.)

  2. if I was going to have a special place for my sex toys I may or may not use the top shelf of my closet...just saying...

  3. Love the post, but gotta say...
    I'll be building a whole bookshelf full of secret compartment books to stash the before saying goodbye to the toys!

    I'm already made the executive decision that the kids can play with the furry handcuffs and velcro ankle straps, for a little while longer anyway. And I'm sure that the knot-tying book and the box of silk rope will take care of themselves...

    But I think without that little treasure chest I'd lose my last shred of sanity. :)

  4. I have a really really bad story about that...oh so embarrasing moment. I cringe when I think about it!!

    ..anyway... our bedroom is a no-kid zone. The kids know they aren't allowed to come in or play in here. I know it sounds harsh, but I have teenagers and they are a bit too nosey for their own good. Refer to first sentence above, AND my teenage boy who is probably traumatized for life. Maybe, just maybe it will fend off him having sex an extra year or three (a mom can hope!). Anyway our room is our sanctuary and I figure the kids have free run of the rest of the house, so I don't feel bad having a room and bathroom without kid fingerprints, and where things stay exactly where I leave them. My little piece of heaven, lol!

    Anyway we have the "happy box" and it sits up high in our closet. It seems like a safe at least.

  5. Your post hit close to home!!! I had the same thing happen when my son was two!! We have now moved the "toys" to the top shelf of our closet... it is safe there... for now ;-) lol

    Your newest follower!!

  6. Lol, been there. My daughter found my toy when she was 13 and she was like MOM!!! All said, mommy need toys too.

  7. You need to mark a box cleaning supplies and put it at the top of a closet.
    Believe me no one will want to look inside.
    New follower from MBC.
    Come check me out at

  8. i think while your kids are small, if they're put somewhere not taboo, they have no interest in poking around. i showed my daughter that all there was under the sink was extra body wash and shampoo (before i popped my toys in there). she doesn't even try to open the door but i put a baby-proof latch on it anyways.
    (saw you on mbc snarky moms. come check out my blog: the naked truth about parenting)

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