Thursday, August 1, 2013

Hike gone BAD

I planned a wonderful outing for the day. Ava had a new friend over and I was determined to get out of the house and do something fun. I took my brood and dog to Delaveaga park which has hiking trails and a golf course. I was excited to do something different and was ready for a new adventure. Taking all my kids and dog anywhere is in adventure in itself.

Our journey started on the wrong foot as the main road was closed, so I figured we would enter through the other side of the park. We found a parking spot, got out the double stroller, snacks, water, kids, dog and went on our way. We had a map and even checked in with a woman at the help kiosk who showed us how to get to the nature trail.

We were on the trail for about 3 minutes when Ava screamed "Owe!!" She pulled up her shirt and grabbed what I thought was a spider and then realized it was a wasp. She threw the smashed wasp and began to scream way too loud. As I was trying to calm her down I heard Scarlett scream and start crying. I then realized what was happening as I looked up and saw all these little insects flying swarming us. Angelina yelled its a wasp nest and Ava began screaming even louder followed by Scarlett's cries to which I yelled "RUN!!"

Angelina started to run back the way we came and I yelled "not that way" and she did an about face and ran followed by Ava, Scarlett and Daisy. I attempted to run the jogger on the skinny root infested trail and poor Willa was getting bounced around like a rag doll. My girls were crying and after 40 yards began to walk when I yelled "Keep going their chasing us!" The Wasps were following us, I felt them banging into me. The girls kept running and I did my best to follow with the wide double jogger on the teeny hiking path.  The path was so bumpy and full of roots I had to go backwards for some of it because I couldn't manage to push it over the rough path and there was a big drop to my right.  Somehow Daisy got off her leash and took off at a full sprint.

Willa was fussing as the jogger was bouncing crazily down the trail and Scarlett was crying and wanted to get into the jogger but I could barely push it at my running pace so I began to walk. At this moment Willa lets out a big owie scream. I tell the girls to keep running and stop the jogger and pull Willa's jacket off. I see the broken wasp stuck in her neck and pull out the stinger and she cries uncontrollably. Sadly I cant stop to comfort her but take off running after the rest of the kids as she frantically cries and tries to pull herself out of her harness.

After a few minutes of running we start to walk with the goal of getting off this trail and finally find a slope we can clamber up that drops us off at the green on the golf course. We immediately meet a golfer who warns us to watch our for balls, the green is not safe and we should not be walking there. I tell our story and he backs off and points us in the direction of the road. We head off at a run through the green, happy to face a rogue golf ball over a wasp nest.  About 4 irritated golfers later, we make it off the green to the road and finally return to the car.

Scarlett had 3 stings! Ava and Willa each had 1 and luckily Angelina and I lucked out, no stings. Not sure how this stuff happens but this was definitely a nature hike gone wrong. We high tailed it out of there and went and got ice cream.


Monday, June 10, 2013

2 Minute Clusterfuck

4:10 pm:  We are in the back yard and it is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, and Scarlett is sitting in my lap eating macaroni and cheese. Daisy is playing with a doggy toy. We are watching cute naked Willa playing in the water. It is one of those perfect moments.

4:11 pm: Willa is toddling toward the stairs and does the cutest pee. If you have never seen a naked baby pee, it's like a moment of discovery. Willa looks down and seems to say "Wow! look what I can do!"  Scarlett and I laugh, there is nothing cuter than naked babies taking a pee break. Then it happens! She does a big long poo! I grab Daisy because she cant resist poo. I tell Scarlett to run and get some baby wipes. As Willa is running into the house with poopy on her butt, I plead from across the yard for her to stop. All the while this long poo is hanging out of her butt swinging around.

Willa turns and books it up the stairs and drops the dooky on the deck. I chase after her with the dog in my arms, and see another chunk falling on the carpet as she runs inside the house. I put the dog in the kitchen which has a gate to keep her away from the ewey poo and wisk up Willa as she tried to sit her poopy booty on the carpet.

4:12 pm: All the while, Scalrett comes flying over the other baby gate with baby wipes in hand and the macaroni & cheese flies everywhere. I grab the wipes and clean the kaka off Willa's butt and grab the poo off the floor. I take a breath and notice Kevin left the other baby gate in the kitchen wide open.  This gate keeps the cat food safe. Shoot, I just locked Daisy in the Kitchen!  Daisy is happily chomping away on Fancy Feast. I jump over, grab the dog, too late the cat food is gone which means I get to clean up more runny poo later.

4:13 pm: Kevin walks in the house as I have a naked baby on my hip, mac & cheese all over the floor, poopy baby wipes and a dog with cat food breath.

Amazing how much can happen in 2 minutes!




Monday, May 27, 2013

Nanny 911

Back in the day when we used to have 1 and 2 kids, we would watch Nanny 911 and marvel at parents inabilities to raise well behaved, respectful children. I viewed parenting as black and white. When there is an unacceptable behavior, provide a consequence and always follow through. Easy as pie!

Fast forward to life with 3 kids and I am officially Nanny 911 material. On a typical day in my home you will find Willa our 1 year old sitting on the table, coloring on herself, or eating erasers off pencils.   She never has matching socks or unstained clothes, often avocado in her hair. Her favorite thing to do is grab the dog treats and share them with the dog, gross! You may think, put that shit up! She happens to be an excellent climber.

I am guilty of holding Willa whenever she wants, which is all the time. I have had people say "cant you put her down?"  No I cant, she will cry, heavens forbid.

When the kids are playing in the baby pool I have been known to bring out a bottle of soap and call it bath time. This is ingenious, 3 kids clean at the same time! When they complain about the dirt and grass floating in the pool, I say "deal with it."

Scarlett has a few daily freak-out  fits, yelling screaming things like "I know everything" or "I love daddy more than you" Back in the olden days I would have addressed each fit appropriately, warnings, followed by  a consequence, but I'm just too tired and have too much to do. Positive parenting is for parents who are way cooler and more rested than I am.  I cant believe how much I let her get away with, she walks all over me. I have been guilty of warning "If you do that, no TV for the rest of the day"   20 minutes later she has turned on  the TV and is parked on the couch.  I figure, at least she is quiet.

I often will be out and about with the kids and notice no one but me is wearing shoes and wonder, did anyone brush their teeth today?  Then I notice the rats nest in Scarlett's hair and cant remember the last time I untangled those unruly curls.

Ava is the only one that actually does what she is supposed to you, we did all our awesome parenting on her and then ran out of juice as the years went by.  Sometimes I look at my life and just have to laugh at the craziness of it all.  I wonder how in the hell did my organized, tight ship turn into a crazy episode of Nanny 911?





Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Hiding in the dark

Scarlett is a what many would call a "spirited" child full of piss and vinegar. She makes an art of having a fit and has truly perfected it.

You never know what will set her off or more like what wont set her off.  There is no avoiding it, she is like Old Faithful, she cant help but erupt at regular intervals.

I have developed many coping mechanisms to deal with this. My old standby is just telling saying goodnight and heading to bed to let Kevin deal with it. Sometimes I hide in the backyard. Tonight I hid in the corner of the dark kitchen and it worked!

Oh Shit here she comes I gotta run and hide!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

4th child = Crazy Mamma

At the end of the day I look at my family and love them. I kiss my sleeping children in their beds and feel so lucky. I think about a 4th child and it sounds like a great idea. I feel sad when I think I will never have another baby.

In the morning I am exhausted from nursing all night. I rush to get everyone to school, breakfast, pack lunches, break up fights, try to squeeze in my work and realize this is such a ridiculous notion.

 I'm sure once my husband reads this he will punch himself in the balls...



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